Transformation

Feb. 23, 2012 - One year ago today we started this adoption process. One year ago today our application was accepted by our adoption agency and our lives have changed......and all for the better. I cannot help but think of all the changes that have happened in the last year. With each change has come a transformation. The first of many changes that occurred over the past couple years has been a change in my heart which has caused a transformation in actions and thoughts.

"Do not conform any longer to the pattern of this world, but be transformed by the renewing of your mind. Then you will be able to test and approve what God's will is - his good, pleasing and perfect will."  -Romans 12:2

Also, Jason changed jobs within this past year that has caused a transformation in our family time together. And now as I look at new pictures of our little Lucy, I think the most obvious physical transformation that has happened over the past year has been this beautiful little girl.

Our first picture of Hu Lu Fei (age: approx. 5 months)
referral date: May 5, 2011

Another 1st look at our Lu Lu

Lu Fei at approx. 11 months old and a repaired cleft lip

Lu Fei in the dress we sent her at approx. 16 months old

Lu Lu looking at the book we sent her

Lucy at age 20 months

Sweet little Lucy

Truly, truly God makes beautiful things and Lucy is one of them. Here is a little background on Lu Fei: She was found abandoned by a busy street in front of a hotel at just 2 days old. I cannot help but have compassion for her birth mom. I know that she must have cared about this tiny baby because she left her in a busy place in order that she would be found quickly. I can only imagine what possible heartache she may have been feeling leaving this tiny baby. Maybe she was scared after seeing her cleft lip and palate or knowing that Lu was a girl. Maybe she was a young mom that just could not have a baby at this time but she decided to carry this life inside her. These will always be unknowns to me. This 2 day old baby was taken to a nearby orphanage where the caretakers spoon fed her formula until they could get a special bottle to accommodate her lip and palate. Once a bottle was found she started thriving. (She looks pretty healthy now!) I am forever grateful to those that have taken care of Lu the past year and a half. What a beautiful transformation that has already occurred in her life.

"For you created my inmost being; you knit me together in my mother's womb. I praise you because I am fearfully and wonderfully made; your works are wonderful, I know that full well. My frame was not hidden from you when I was made in the secret place. When I was woven together in the depths of the earth, your eyes saw my unformed body. All the days ordained for me were written in your book before one of them came to be."   -Psalm 139:13-16

*You will notice that I use several different names when talking about our little girl. Well today is the first day that her name has officially been changed on our records with our agency. She now bears the name Lucy Fei Penner. When I received an email today that says we will change all our records to Lucy Fei Penner, it just seemed surreal for some reason.

Family of Five

This past weekend our little family of 5 decided to take a little trip away. Jason and I thought we should get a little trip in with our family of 5 before Lucy comes, so with the help of a generous Christmas gift from Jason's consultant work, we reserved a room at the Radisson in Bloomington, MN that contains the Water Park of America. We didn't tell the kids until we left. Needless to say, they were filled with glee!

During our adoption process Jason and I have had multiple conversations about not neglecting the children we have been blessed with by focusing all our attention on Lucy and the adoption. We have prayed for our children and even read a book that was recommended to us called Grace - Based Parenting by Tim Kimmel. It gave us a new perspective on how we are handling the discipline and instruction of our kids. Seriously, I was beginning to think, "how could add another child into this family when we could not even get our current family under control". We were having a few issues with our oldest son when we decided to step back and focus on our parenting and spending more time as a family. This book and a lot of prayer has really helped. Believe me, we still have our days, but with this perspective of the grace shown to us by our Heavenly Father and the need for that same grace to be given to our children by us as parents has helped me in dealing with issues that come up. Anyway, this weekend away was a time to be together and enjoy our family of 5 before we become a family of 6. : )

"Aiden, are you having fun?"

Ian trying out the surfing.

We stopped at Lego Land at the Mall of America

I think Izzy was a bit delirious at this point. She was so tired.

The boys checking out all the cool creations with Legos

Questions, Books, and Honesty

This week, for some reason, has been a difficult one for me to wait on Lucy's homecoming. Jason and I started painting and redecorating Izzy's and Lucy's room, so maybe that has something to do with it. Izzy almost daily brings up Lucy and asks when she will be coming, maybe that is it. Oh, a funny side story about that......Izzy looked at me yesterday and asked if I had a baby in my tummy. (Ahem, maybe my diet and exercise plan are not working so well. Ha!) As I asked her more questions she was asking if Lucy would be coming out of my tummy like other babies do. This gave me a little insight into what her 3 year old mind is thinking. I told her in very simple terms that Lucy is part of our family because we are adopting her. She is special because someone else had her in her tummy, but she will still be a part of our family. She then kept asking what the lady's name was that had her in her tummy. I told her I do not know her name, but one person does, God. It is in these moments that I have to hold back the tears.

We continue to wait for our letter of approval to come from China. No news yet. I just read in an article that the next president of China is coming to the U.S. and he plans to visit a soy bean farm in Iowa. I would like to just call him up and ask if he could bring Lucy with him to Iowa and we could pick her up. : ) If only it were that easy. While we wait I have been reading some great books. One that is a must read for everyone, in my opinion, is Kisses from Katie. It is all about Katie Davis, a YOUNG missionary in Uganda who has adopted 14 girls of her own. Her story is amazing. She is an example of being obedient to the call God has placed in her life and having a supernatural love that could only come from our Heavenly Father. I am not completely finished with the book, but I am in awe of this young woman (did I mention she was only 18 when she first went to Uganda and her life has never been the same since). When a friend gave me her book to borrow I read the back of the book and just teared up. She wrote exactly what I have been in conflict about for the past few years. Here is what the back of the book says:

 "Sometimes I want to spend hours talking with my best friends about boys and fashion and school and life. I want to go to the gym. I want my hair to look nice. I want to be allowed to wear jeans. I want to be a normal young woman living in America, SOMETIMES.
But I want other things more. ALL the time. I want to be spiritually and emotionally filled every day. I want to be loved and cuddled by a hundred children and never go a day without laughing. I want to wake up to a rooster's crow and open my eyes to see lush green trees that seem to pulse with life against a piercing blue sky and the rusty red soil of Uganda. I want to be challenged endlessly. I want to be taught by those I teach, and I want to share God's love with people who otherwise might not know it. I want to work so hard that I end every day filthy and too tired to move. I want to make some kind of difference, no matter how small, and I want to follow the calling God has placed on my heart. I want to give my life away, to serve the Lord with each breath. At the end of the day, no matter how hard, I want to be right here in Uganda."

Now I do not think God is calling me to Uganda, like He is Katie, (sometimes I think that would be easier to do than to continue to live here in the U.S., but that could be another post to discuss), but he is calling me to things here and now that at times are beyond what my human, selfish, sinful flesh desires. I want to be spiritually and emotionally filled every day. I want to be challenged endlessly. I want to share God's love with people who otherwise might not know it. I want to make a difference, no matter how small, and I want to follow the calling God has placed on my heart. I would add, I want to be obedient to the Lord of my life by the power of the Holy Spirit to do what He is asking me to do. These are things from Katie's life that has spoken volumes to my heart.

Many people have asked or talked to me about the cost of adopting internationally. I give them my honest answer which is, I never imagined that we, with our own resources, would be able to "afford" adopting. However, if this is what God was asking us to do, we had no choice but to obediently follow his leading. God has been gracious to us and has shown me time and time again that this is His work, not our own work. He is providing. He is adopting Lucy, we are just His vessels to be used.

Last Saturday our family went to a Chinese New Year celebration for a few families in Sioux Falls, South Dakota that have adopted children from China. I was a little exhausted from being at a retreat the night before, but it was a great evening and I am glad we went. It was so fun to see some of the little Chinese children in their silk dresses and jackets. It was also so great to talk with families and now have some contacts to ask questions as they come up. Our kids had fun and asked if we would be going again next year. Here are a few pictures from the evening:

General chaos when multiple children are in one room : )

Cute little Samantha : )

Izzy coloring her Chinese lantern

Aiden, hamming it up with some new friends

I was bummed because I didn't get my camera in time to take a picture of Aiden pushing his new friends around on little scooters. It was a great evening and we very thankful for the new friends we made.

Soli Deo Gloria!

Chinese New Year 2012

January 23rd was the "official" Chinese New Year day. We had to celebrate. Anytime there is a reason to celebrate a holiday, I am all over it. : ) So this year our family celebrated by going to a Chinese restaurant in Mankato on Saturday, the 21st. We stuffed ourselves with some excellent food. Did I mention it was buffet style. Oh and did I also mention that this Chinese buffet had one section of American food and yep.....my kids were all over that section of the buffet line. Oh well,  at least there was something for everyone to enjoy. Here is the best part of this day: As we walked into the restaurant I noticed a poster advertising The Mankato Chinese Culture Institute and thought it sounded interesting. There were no more flyers left in the pocket of the poster but there was a website. When we sat down at our table and I waited for my turn at the buffet line, I looked up the website. This little place has a Chinese language school for kids, a cooking class for adults, and Martial Arts classes. That was neat in itself, but as I was looking at the website I noticed a familiar face on one of the pictures. I had to look closer. Sure enough, it was a picture of a doctor I work with on Fridays at the hospital. I found out he and his wife are the directors of this little institute. He and his wife are from Taiwan and they speak Mandarin Chinese and have one daughter that they have taught Mandarin also. They started this language school so that their daughter could have more interaction with other Chinese children and learn the language. How awesome is that! Of course I have had multiple conversations with Dr. Li about China, the history, the current government, things to see over there, the culture, etc. He has been a wealth of knowledge for me as I learn about China and the culture. So very neat how certain people are placed in our lives at certain times.

At the China Buffet eating pizza and onion rings : )

Mmmmm, this was my plate of goodness!

Knowing that this place exists so close to us, it will be nice to be able to bring Lucy there just to be with other kids that she can get to know. The class is only on Saturday mornings for 2 hours. I am not expecting her to be able to pick up the language easily, especially since we do not speak it, nor do I know if I could ever learn such a complicated language, but I think allowing her to know about her culture and where she came from will be important as she grows up. Since we have taken classes on how to handle cultural diversity in a family when adopting internationally, my eyes have been opened to the importance of being honest and open with the child about where she came from and how to answer questions that will come up in the future. This place in Mankato will be a great place to start that with Lucy.

On Monday, January 23rd, our kids woke up in the morning to little red bags (red envelopes) with money in them.  In China, families give the kids red envelopes with money in them with the thinking that it will give them wealth in the New Year.

There are all kinds of customs they do to prepare for the New Year like clean their houses thoroughly, from top to bottom, with the thinking that they are cleaning out all the bad luck from the past year. (Oops, I didn't get to the cleaning part of the celebrating. : )) People get fresh haircuts for the new year. Families travel to the place where they grew up for family gatherings with, what sounds like, a lot of food. There are parades with dragons and lanterns. They shoot off fireworks. There are so many different ways they celebrate and for different reasons. I started thinking, "do the people in China even know why they do some of these traditional activities for the New Year? Or are they just doing what was passed down to them, like we do here?" Why did we ever start watching a ball fall for our New Year? What is with the kiss at the strike of midnight for our New Year? Anyway, a lot of the traditional activities of the Chinese New Year revolves around legends and luck and wealth.

The celebration on Monday did not end with red envelopes. I made Chinese dumplings for Ian and Aiden's class and I read the legend of the Chinese Zodiac Calendar and how each animal came to be a part of calendar. You can read the story I read here. Ian wanted to help with the story, so he drew pictures of each animal. He handed out a circle with a different animal on it to his classmates. As I read the story, the student would bring their picture up. The end product looked like this:

You can see that he colored in the dragon because, he said, this is the year of the dragon so it needed to be in color. : ) After I read the story, Ian and Aiden's teacher asked how they could pray for Lucy and our adoption. I mentioned my requests and a student raised his hand so he could pray. It was such a sweet prayer including a prayer for the people of China to know who Jesus is.

We continued celebrating at home with reading books and eating some more Chinese food. Then we went outside to light our sparklers. Well, it turns out that I bought a whole bunch of "punks" instead of sparklers. That was kind of a bummer. We ended up just going through our stash of leftover fire crackers and the boys had fun blowing up fire crackers. About a week before all this we did light some sparklers outside and I ended up getting some pictures.

One of our new books about the Chinese New Year

It was a fun time of celebrating Lucy's culture and I see such excitement in Ian and Aiden now that they have been studying China in school. I hope this is preparing them for having Lucy in our family.
Here are some other drawings Ian has been working on lately. I was absolutely shocked when I saw that he had copied this from a book we have. It is the numbers 1 - 76 in Chinese. Much better than I could do.

We still have more celebrating to do. This Saturday our family was invited to a Chinese New Year celebration for families that have adopted from China in Sioux Falls, SD. A friend (more like a daughter of a lady I know from church whom we have connected with over email and the phone) invited us to this. I am excited to meet her in person and other families that have been in the same "waiting period" we are currently in and get their perspective on the adoption process, being on the other side of it. It should be a fun time.

Many have asked if we have heard anymore from China. The answer, unfortunately, is no. We just wait.