Summer Fun

July 22, 2012 - The busyness of summer continues. We have our good days and some overwhelming days.  Here is just a taste of some fun we have had over the past couple weeks.



Holding one of 6 baby kittens born to our cat. Sadly, all 6 have gone missing for a few days now. No where to be found. : (

Izzy and "her" kitty

Mommy and her girls dressed up for church.

First trim. She did pretty well and earned a sucker for sitting so nicely. : )

This is what happens when my boys discover that if you get sidewalk chalk wet you can paint yourself and they discovered that blue stains their skin. : )

The next member of the blue man group

Making our own paint. 1 cup cold water, 1 cup flour and food coloring. Thanks to the idea from my sis in law.

A few Izzy originals. : ) She says these are for Daddy to take to Minn Tex. : )

1st visit to Fairmont Water Park

She loved it and evidence that she has no fear of water anymore!

Izzy going down the slide

My big boy!

And this came in the mail yesterday.....official certificate of citizenship

 Tomorrow morning, Ian leaves for his first summer camp experience. He is very excited and has been packing for 3 days now. : ) My little boy isn't so little anymore. Aiden is looking forward to having a friend spend the night while Ian is gone and he has to pick up the slack of Ian and do all the chicken chores. (They are raising broiler chickens this summer for their summer job.) These two boys have taken me out of my comfort zone this summer. They both wanted to find other summer jobs, I think because they want to earn extra money. Ian decided he wanted to ask the librarian if she needed any extra help at the library. I told Ian that he could ask, but to know that this is not a job that he will get paid. He informed me he just wanted to work on building his resume....."WHAT!?", I said, "where did you ever hear about a resume and what do you even know about a resume?" Ian said he has heard about in his Adventures in Odyssey CDs. ha,ha! O.k., well Ian asked and now has a little job at the library helping sort DVDs that are rented out at the library as they come in. He just glows when I take him. I would have never had enough nerve to ask a librarian for a job when I was his age. Well, Aiden decided he wanted a job too. His idea.....to set up a table outside the library and sell baked goods to those patrons using the library. O.k., well he asked the librarian about this possibility and she said he would need to talk to the city of Butterfield to get the o.k. This was a thought that crossed my mind and a fear I had because once Aiden gets an idea he does not let it go until he gets a yes or no answer. So, we went to city hall and asked about his bake sale. The substitute working at city hall that day (THANKFULLY, I knew the lady filling in this day) took Aiden's information down and she said she would relay the message to the proper people. We have not heard back from them yet and yes, Aiden does keep asking. Like I said, this is all way out of my comfort zone, but I do not want to squelch this desire to work and earn money, or build their resumes in Ian's case. Gotta love small towns for these very reasons.

These are the stories I want to return to when I have those overwhelming days and wonder if I was really cut out to be a mom of 4. I am thankful for God's grace and mercy in my insufficiency as a mom. I am thankful for friends and family that continue to encourage me through texts, emails, and chats. I cannot imagine going through this life without such encouragement. I didn't mean for this to end on such a downer, but I want to be real. These pictures I have posted show that life is just wonderful and fun, which it is at times, and other times it is exhausting, overwhelming, frustrating, and tear filled. That is when God's grace and mercy shines through the most. I am working on relying on that more and more.

Oh......and Lucy is doing just fabulous these days. : )

Grandparents and Doctors

July 11, 2012 - We have had a busy few weeks. Some activities of interest, for those that care about this continued journey, are my parents visit and a trip to Sioux Falls to see the ENT/cleft specialist. First my parents.....they came on Saturday afternoon and stayed until early Tuesday morning, so it was not a long visit. They were able to experience first hand the chaos of the Penner home. Not that they aren't used to 4 kids kind of chaos, but when you are the mother of the kids that cause the chaos it seems to be extra noticeable. Anyway, they came bearing gifts for the kids to enjoy and games to play with the kids. Lucy gave them lots of smiles, blew them kisses, and gave them plenty of hugs. We allowed them to hold her, which for some may seem silly, but up to this point we have not allowed anyone else to hold her except us. She handled it all well. We did not see any signs of attachment issues with us. My mom and I got away to Mankato one afternoon to shop and Jason took my dad golfing on a different afternoon. So Lucy has met her Indiana Grandparents now. : )

The kids enjoying their new water table

Perfect gift for Lucy

Coloring with Grandpa

Great picture of the newest Herman grandchild

We spent some time at Lawcon park while the boys had piano lessons

One last picture before it was time to go

 Once my parents left I had some sad kids. They enjoyed seeing their Indiana Grandparents.

The same morning that my parents left, Lucy and I traveled to Sioux Falls for her doctor's appointment. I asked my two good friends/sisters in Christ/accountability and prayer partners if they wanted to take a trip with me promising shopping and lunch. As always, it is such a refreshing time being with these encouraging and wise ladies who are in the same depths of life as myself. We go deep in our conversations and are real with one another. These women are true treasures in my life and I was so glad they made the trip with me. Anyway, back to Lucy.....she was a champ at traveling nearly 2 hours in the van (her longest car ride thus far). She saw an ENT doctor who also specializes in cleft lip/palate repairs. He is the first doctor all new patients see and he makes the decision on what issue needs to be worked on first. We were with his nurse for about 5 minutes. She left and 2 minutes later he walked in. He asked a few questions looked in Lucy's mouth (yes, that is not a fun thing to watch. He had to gag her a few times to get a good look at her palate. I also had to hold her upside down on my lap so he could see her gum line), and ears. He then told me whoever did her surgeries in China did a great job. He is most concerned about her hearing because she has fluid in her ears. He typically puts tubes is his surgical patients' ears at the time of their palate repair. Lucy does not have tubes. So, before starting any kind of speech therapy he first wants to make sure she is hearing correctly.....makes sense. We go back in 6 weeks to see if the fluid in her ears has gone away and Lucy will need a hearing test at that time. If the fluid has not gone away or diminished she will need tubes in her ears. Then, since she is just learning the English language, he wants to wait 6 -9 months before starting speech therapy. Her teeth and flattened nostril will not need anything done until she is about 5 or 6 years old. We will be followed by the cleft team now and a coordinator will keep me in the loop on what the plan of action is each step of the way. This doctor answered all my questions before I even had a chance to ask them. : ) We headed back to the mall for some shopping, dinner, and traveled home. On the way home Lucy did o.k. until the last 45 mins. She was done! She was tired and wanted to be out of her car seat. So, we switched drivers and I sat in the back with her. She fell asleep while I held her. Shhhhh! I know that is totally against the law, but she needed some mama time. : )

Also, Lucy's lab results from her first appointment with the family doctor came back and everything is either negative or normal. Praise the Lord! We are thankful for the wonderful job that whoever did on her mouth in China. We are thankful for and rejoicing for a great first visit with the specialist and we are thankful for Lucy's health which we had been praying for before we even met her.

Soli Deo Gloria!

First U.S. doctor appointment

July 5, 2012 - Lucy saw our family doctor today for a physical and to get updated on all her shots and blood work. She did great considering everything they had to do to her. She really liked when the doctor and the nurse listened to her heart with the stethoscope. She sat quietly and just watched what they were doing. She just takes it all in.

She is in the 90th percentile for height and weight, which doesn't surprise me when you look at her. One thing that did surprise me was that she has not lost any weight since being home. She has stayed pretty much exactly where she was at her U.S. Consulate appointment. She seems to be eating less than she did when we were in China and we think she is outside and more active than she would have been in her orphanage, but those of just assumptions. My theory on the eating less is this: I think, with the size that she was when we first saw her, she was fed....ALOT! I think she may have been fed to keep her happy and content. If she fussed, I am guessing they just gave her a bottle of formula or some snacks (I am basing this on reports that we received from the orphanage). I like to think that since she is not eating as much now, but still is happy and sleeps all night, that maybe we are meeting her needs of affection and attention with ourselves instead of food. The downside of the eating less is she seems to be getting more picky about her food and is rather  naughty  distracted at the dinner table. So begins the discipline of table manners and telling our other 3 children over and over that their little sister is watching what they do and is mimicking their behavior. So, we are working on table manners a little more this summer. Many adoptive families talk about their children hoarding food after they come home. We have not seen this with Lucy. She does get excited when she sees us setting the table for a meal or when it is snack time, but she doesn't seem to show signs of hoarding.

Anyway, I digress. I didn't want to make this all about food. Back to Lucy's health.....The doctor said she looks healthy. He didn't see any major issues. We are trying to get her caught up on all her vaccinations. Blood was drawn for all the necessary tests including Hepatitis, HIV, and lead levels, just to name a few. We have an appointment to see a specialist in Sioux Falls to discuss her palate and lip next Tuesday. I will have a lot more questions to ask him at this appointment pertaining to her speech development, her dental issues, and what needs to be done in the future as her mouth grows. I am pretty excited that we have an appointment so soon. I was expecting it to be much later in the summer. I want to get as many doctor visits taken care of while I am on maternity leave from work as I can.

She had to get three immunizations today and blood work. She was just about to fall asleep on my shoulder when they came in for the blood draw. Then, once she finally calmed down from that trauma, she did fall asleep on my shoulder and in came the nurses with the shots. Poor girl! She was a trooper and earned a cookie for what she went through.

I think Lucy is feeling more and more at home with us. She lights up and gets so excited when she sees Jason's pick up drive onto the yard. She runs up to me and gives my leg hugs almost daily now. We have a shapes toy that as soon as I ask, "Lucy, do you want to do shapes?" she runs over to me and sits down and dumps the shapes out and we work on our shapes together. Like I said before, she just takes it all in and now seems to be absorbing it all. She brings so much energy to our house that I am exhausted by the end of the day, but it is so worth it.

Soli Deo Gloria!

Poor Lucy. Home from the doctor's office

Sweet Lucy eating a morning snack on mama's lap



One Month Post Gotcha Day

June 21, 2012 - Today marks one month since holding and meeting Lucy in person for the first time. I cannot believe it has been one month already and the Lord has been faithful to us throughout this month. We are making huge progress in the attachment process. We have limited Lucy's outings, but she has been on outings and there have been a few Lucy spottings in Mt. Lake by a few people. : ) This limited time outside our house has been very beneficial with helping Lucy feel comfortable with her new family. The thing I was most fearful about was Lucy seeing a new face and putting her arms out to them to be held. I remember an evening in China shortly after we met Lucy. We were eating at a restaurant and after our meal was done, Lucy reached out her arms to all the waitresses that were smiling at her and talking to her. She started crying and I could not console her. She wanted to be held by these ladies, not me. This was my fear of introducing her to our friends and family. This fear has not become reality because not once has Lucy reached out her arms to anyone but a member of our immediate family.

Everyday Lucy seems to show me a new action that confirms she is progressing in her attachment to me. Yesterday it was when she ran into the kitchen, threw her arms around my leg, and gave it a squeeze. Now, I am pretty convinced that at this point in her life, she does not understand affection. I do not know if this leg squeeze was just her mimicking something she has seen her sister do, but it was initiated completely by her without any prompting. This morning Lucy woke up about a half hour earlier than the rest of the kids, (at first I was a bit disappointed because she already wakes up pretty early, but it was worth it!) so we had a half hour of snuggle time. She sat on my lap, cuddled with me and even looked me in the eyes and smiled. These are HUGE steps. Throughout the day while we were outside she wanted me to hold her A LOT. I loved every minute of it! The best thing she does now is she holds out her hands to me when it is time to pray before our meal. She wants to pray with our family. Sometimes multiple times during the meal she wants to pray. : ) So many thoughts go through my head when I think about this awesome action. First, I know she does not completely understand what we are doing, but if she were not in our family and still in an orphanage in China, would she even ever see this done to even copy this action? Oh thank you Father for allowing us the ability to show even a 2 year old glimpses of You.

We have our routine down during the day and I once again feel like a normal person. You know, I read about a post adoption depression, kind of like a post partum depression that can occur. Of course it is one of those things a person thinks, "that won't happen to me." Well, I think I suffered a little from that. There is not much that prepares a person to come home from a long journey and just get back into life. I struggled (well still am kind of struggling) with having 4 children NEEDING me all day long and one of those children being a new member of the family so you have to work extra hard to meet all her needs. It was a challenge, but like I said, we are finally into a routine and things are looking better. I told Jason last night, "I now feel like Lucy's mom, not just a babysitter as she waits for her mom to come and get her." : ) Thank you Lord!

The Lord is trustworthy in all he promises
and faithful in all he does.^[c]
14 The Lord upholds all who fall
and lifts up all who are bowed down.
¹⁵ The eyes of all look to you,
and you give them their food at the proper time.
¹⁶ You open your hand
and satisfy the desires of every living thing.

¹⁷ The Lord is righteous in all his ways
and faithful in all he does.
¹⁸ The Lord is near to all who call on him,
to all who call on him in truth.
¹⁹ He fulfills the desires of those who fear him;
he hears their cry and saves them.  ~Psalm 145:13b-19

Throughout this time of transition, my perception of what Lucy's "special need" is has changed. She was put on the special needs list because of her cleft lip and palate. As one of the members of our travel group said, "their first special need is they need a family", and I couldn't agree more! This has been our main focus since coming home that I have at times completely forgotten about her lip and palate. She does have a doctor's appointment at the beginning of July which we will then be referred on to a cleft team (several specialty doctors working together in the care of a patient with cleft lip and palate). We do know she will need some orthodontic work done because her teeth look a little out of whack on the top. : )

We have seen so much of Lucy's personality come out. She is such a fun little girl. She has SO MUCH personality. She is very playful and I just found out today that she is a fish in the pool. She loved being in the water. She liked it a little too much. I do not see any fear in her and that makes me nervous. She will have to be watched like a hawk around water. She seems to be fitting into our family just fine. Why do I even doubt!? We are hoping to take her to church on Sunday for the first time. We shall see how that goes. Thank you all for your prayers and support. Thank you, once again, to the MUMS group for setting up meals for us. This is just such a blessing coming from other busy, busy moms.

Here is a glimpse of our month in pictures:

Gotcha Day - May 21, 2012

Day we received the official adoption registration certificate - May 22, 2012

First glimpses of Lucy's personality coming out - May 23, 2012

Not liking being with Mommy too much : ( (In Zhengzhou)

There's some smiles (in Guangzhou)

U.S. Consulate day - May 31, 2012

Red couch (or made up red couch) picture - June 1, 2012

Playing at home (one of the first days home)

Little chef Lucy

Well, what can I say. I told you she has personality. I was folding clothes and she put her brother's underwear on, by herself, and walked around the house for quite a while with it around her legs. : )

Happy 2nd Birthday - June 16, 2012

Playing outside - Lucy's favorite activity - Father's Day 2012

Happy 1 month Gotcha Day anniversary, sweet Lucy! Your family loves you very much! We have come a long way in one month. : )

Ian's Birthday

June 18, 2012 - Yes, our June Father's day weekend is full of celebrations. I am wondering if Lucy thinks we have a party every other day at this rate. Ha! Well, this day is the day we celebrated Ian turning 9 years old. 9 YEARS OLD!!!! I cannot believe I am the mother to a 9 year old. I know later down the road I will say, I cannot believe I am the mother to a .......(fill in the blank) year old.

I wanted to make sure Ian's birthday did not get overlooked with all the transition and changes in our family life right now. We (Jason and I) just had to get creative since we are not taking Lucy out in big crowds quite yet and I did not want Ian to have negative thoughts about having Lucy in our family. So, on his birthday, after our social worker left our house -- (China requires a one month post adoption report on home life with the child, so this is the day that worked for all our schedules.) -- I fired up the oven and made all the food Ian requested: 2 different kinds of pizza rolls, tortilla chips and cheese dip, tacos with beef, beans, and cheese, cheese flavored pringles, Invisible kool-aide, birthday bash ice cream and birthday cake. (Yes, I really, really wanted to make sure he enjoyed his day so I went a little overboard with the food and said yes every time he asked if he could have something. I am guilty!) I had to throw some grapes out on the buffet line just to make myself feel better. Ha! We called Grandma and Grandpa Penner to come over and enjoy the food with us. We ate. Ian opened his presents and then had cake and ice cream. This was kind of rushed party because of field work that needed to be done, but I think Ian enjoyed it. He now has his own digital camera to use his photography skills that he learned during school this year (and he won't need to ask me for my camera all the time. Wow, that is really selfish of me).

All in all it was a fun evening. Ian and Aiden started a birthday slumber party down in our dungeon, aka basement, on Monday evening, but both boys ended up in their soft comfy beds upstairs before the night became too late. : ) On Tuesday he invited two of his buddies to join him at Pow Wow for rides, games, and more food. Jason was in charge that day and both my boys came home with a bottle of Mt. Dew in their hands. : ) Needless to say, I think Ian enjoyed his 9th birthday. I look at him sometimes and cannot believe he is my son. Sometimes he makes me want to pull my hair out. Then, there are those sweet moments when we can discuss and think through a certain topic that makes me realize, he is going to be o.k. despite my failures as a parent.

Happy 9th Birthday to our Angry Bird playing, lego loving, swimmer, sister torturing, Odyssey listener, Ian!!

Newborn hospital picture

1st birthday

Aww, our little boy is growing up

9 candles! ("3 rows of 3, Mom," said Ian as I was putting the candles on his cake).

I think Aiden is in the background demonstrating his photography skills. Ha!

Father's Day

June 17, 2012 ~ Father's Day - (sorry, I am back tracking -- been a little on the busy side lately, but now we are getting into a routine)

We spent Father's Day at home as a family. We started with donuts since the Daddy in our house enjoys donuts so much (specifically Apple Fritters). We played a kickball game with those in the family that were willing to play, *ahem*! (We had one on Father's Day that wasn't really cooperating. You will notice this in the pictures I tried to take.) We just enjoyed the day being a family again.

Here are some pictures celebrating the wonderful man my children call Daddy. 

Father's Day 2012 - one not too excited to get his picture taken

Izzy playing the kickball field

And Aiden playing...or not playing....kickball

My big boy still playing in the dirt

And Lucy playing the kickball field : )

Lucy's 2nd Birthday.....at Home

June 16, 2012 - We celebrated a very special day -- Lucy's 2nd birthday!!!! On her 1st birthday, we had a celebration at our home, without Lucy present. Here is the blog post from last year's celebration. Oh this was so much sweeter, having Lucy with her forever family to celebrate her life! She is one very special little girl that has a lot of personality, smiles, and.......well, has a lot of healing to do over the next few years. She is a survivor that has endured more trauma and hurt in her short life than a 2 year should have to go through, but there is healing and that is my prayer for her this next year. I pray that she learns what it means to trust. I pray that her heart heals from hurts she has endured up to this point in her life.
For now we just celebrated being together on her birthday! Happy Happy Birthday sweet Lucy Fei! Your family loves you!





The girls had to get dressed up for the birthday party. : )

She knows how to unwrap presents