" 'For I know the plans I have for you,' declares the Lord, 'plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you HOPE and a future.' " -Jeremiah 29:11
I have read this verse so many times. I have heard people use it several times when talking about a certain situation in their lives. This time reading the verse it just really penetrated into the heart.
A good friend of mine and fellow adoptive parent gave me a devotional booklet from the organization Show Hope. It is a great devotional to read through and encourage us as we......what's the dreaded word......WAIT for Lucy to come home. This particular day the devotion was focused on this verse and how the Father knows what is best for our family and for our little Lucy. It was such an encouragement to me after receiving some not so good news earlier in the week.
The past few weeks Jason and I have really felt discouraged and almost hopeless with how this whole process is going. I am just going to be honest with you, I sometimes doubt that we will ever be bringing Lucy home. Several things happened with our home study and the process was delayed, not because of anything Jason or I did but because of others. When it is nothing either Jason or I could do about the situation, I feel so extremely helpless and hopeless. That is when this verse hit me. ".....plans to give you a hope and a future." There you have it! His plans are to give me HOPE and a FUTURE when I am feeling so hopeless. His plans are to give Lucy HOPE and a FUTURE. I need to be trusting in the future He has planned and not what my own plans are. His timing is perfect even when I do not understand the purpose of waiting. He has a plan. At the bottom of the devotion a question is asked: In what ways am I trusting in my own understanding and instead need to come before God in prayer and in faith? Good question! Notice it says come before God in prayer and IN FAITH. What am I not believing about God when I doubt that He will bring Lucy to our home? I am not putting my faith in the only one that is in control of all things. Oh, I have asked many times to forgive my unbelief of who He really is. I have seen His provision in my life so many times, but how quickly I forget how faithful He is to me. Praise the Lord that He is merciful to me.
Well, on the good side of all this is that I did receive an email today saying our home study is finally approved from CCAI. This is a huge chunk of our dossier paperwork. We can now submit our immigration paperwork and wait for a call that the authorities have received and accepted all the papers and that we can travel up to the Cities for more fingerprints. (I know it is confusing for me too. ; )) It all just means that we can once again move forward. We still have a long way to go before we can travel to get Lucy, but every step closer is reason to celebrate!
We so appreciate your prayers and support. Several of you have supported us by buying coffee and I cannot thank you enough. I hope you are enjoying it. If anyone else would like to order coffee (Christmas presents!!!! Christmas is right around the corner. hint, hint), go to our website: www.justlovecoffee.com/ThePenners It really is great coffee. I can now say I am a Just Love coffee snob!
Soli Deo Gloria!
Glory
Sep 15, 2011
Aug 25, 2011
Care Package
Yesterday I sent my two boys off to the first day of school. Aiden is in first grade and Ian is in second grade. It should be an interesting year because both boys are in the same classroom. The first and second graders are in the same room at their school. It should make for some interesting conversation at the dinner table. The good news for me is that maybe this year I will stay on top of what needs to be sent to school for certain special days. Last year I could not remember if Ian needed show n tell or if it was Aiden's day to bring snack. The boys are excited and are usually eager to learn new things. We love their teachers and their heart for teaching our children in a way that honors God.
I guess with all the these new beginnings today I decided it was time to get this care package for Lucy put together and sent off. So, we finished the package last evening and I sent it off this morning. The whole family was involved in this care package. We sent Lucy a recordable story book. Each of us took a turn and read a couple pages so that Lucy can hear our voices and maybe get used to them. (I have tried to add the video of the recorded book, but blogspot did not want to cooperate, or maybe it is just me. : )). At the end of the book Izzy says, "The End. We love you Lucy." It is just precious. Here are a few pictures of the items included in her first package:
A recordable story book called, All the Ways I Love You, a dress, a headband, a disposable camera, and a little pinkie blankie similar to her big sister's blankie. : )
Here is the inside of cover of the storybook. I added a picture of our family, (actually from last summer, but it is the best picture I have in hard copy right now). Above our heads you notice some labels. Our agency was nice enough to send little labels for Mother, Father, Big Brothers, and Big Sister in English and in Chinese. Now Lucy will get to see us for the first time and then every time she opens her book. : )
I pray that this care package will get to Lucy. It has to go through customs and I followed all the directions that our agency told us to do in order for the package to get there safely. I pray it will brighten Lucy's day and that she enjoys her presents.
I recently requested an update on Lucy from our agency. The response I received is something to this effect: They are waiting to request an update until the beginning of next month. At that time it will be the 6 month window of when Lucy was supposed to get her palate repaired. Usually if a child has been in the hospital the agency receives the discharge paperwork from her stay. They have not yet received that so the agency is thinking it may not have been repaired yet. So, we pray that Lucy is doing well and that we receive an update soon.
Thank you all for your prayers and support. Again, for you coffee drinkers, if you would like to enjoy some great coffee and help us bring our little Lucy home you can go to our coffee storefront at www.justlovecoffee.com/ThePenners. Spread the word to all your coffee drinking friends. : )
Soli Deo Gloria!
I guess with all the these new beginnings today I decided it was time to get this care package for Lucy put together and sent off. So, we finished the package last evening and I sent it off this morning. The whole family was involved in this care package. We sent Lucy a recordable story book. Each of us took a turn and read a couple pages so that Lucy can hear our voices and maybe get used to them. (I have tried to add the video of the recorded book, but blogspot did not want to cooperate, or maybe it is just me. : )). At the end of the book Izzy says, "The End. We love you Lucy." It is just precious. Here are a few pictures of the items included in her first package:
I pray that this care package will get to Lucy. It has to go through customs and I followed all the directions that our agency told us to do in order for the package to get there safely. I pray it will brighten Lucy's day and that she enjoys her presents.
I recently requested an update on Lucy from our agency. The response I received is something to this effect: They are waiting to request an update until the beginning of next month. At that time it will be the 6 month window of when Lucy was supposed to get her palate repaired. Usually if a child has been in the hospital the agency receives the discharge paperwork from her stay. They have not yet received that so the agency is thinking it may not have been repaired yet. So, we pray that Lucy is doing well and that we receive an update soon.
Thank you all for your prayers and support. Again, for you coffee drinkers, if you would like to enjoy some great coffee and help us bring our little Lucy home you can go to our coffee storefront at www.justlovecoffee.com/ThePenners. Spread the word to all your coffee drinking friends. : )
Soli Deo Gloria!
Aug 12, 2011
The Home study
Yesterday I received an email from our case worker. In the email she attached our home study. THE HOME STUDY we have been patiently (or maybe at times, not so patiently) waiting over a month to look over. This is a big step in our adoption process. This means after the home study has been reviewed by us and then by our Chinese agency in Colorado (CCAI), we can send in more paper work to be put in someone else's hands to review and wait for phone calls. I know, it may sound redundant, but having this home study allows us to move forward yet again, and we are that much closer to bringing Lucy home. We are praising the Lord for this home study being completed and asking for prayer that the papers can get to where they need to go and that the people who need to see our papers would be available to attend to them quickly.
Having this home study complete also means we can apply for grants from organizations like Show Hope and The Abba Fund to assist us in financially providing for this adoption. So, as you see, I will be up to my ears in paperwork. : ) As I have been waiting for this home study I read a book called Adopt Without Debt by Julie Gumm. She gives practical advice to parents that are either looking into adopting and may think they cannot afford it, or parents that are in the process of adopting. I thought we had exhausted all our options to save money, make money, or ways to keep us from going into debt until I read about one website that interested me. There is a coffee roasting company called Just Love Coffee that sells exotic coffees from several parts of the world. They roast the coffee as it is ordered and ship it to the person that orders it. The adopting family gets $5 for each bag that is sold. I just received my first bags of coffee and am pretty excited to try them. I am not a saleswoman. I am not a big fan of asking people to buy something (I leave that to my retired insurance salesman father and current salesman brother). So, I am not going to beg you to buy this coffee. I may post it on Facebook every once in a while.You may get an email from me about it. However, I am just spreading the word to those that like a good cup of coffee in the morning and would like their purchase to have a purpose, helping an orphan get home to her forever family. : ) I set a goal of $5,000 to help with our adoption costs and the medical needs that she may have when she does come home. So, I figure (if my math is correct, which I have been to known to mess up) if I can get 1,000 people to buy just one bag of coffee, I will have reached my goal. So, I am asking if you have friends, family, or co-workers that enjoy coffee, pass this information onto them. Hey, just today I was reminded that Christmas is only 4 months away, maybe you could get some of your Christmas shopping done a little early. : ) Here is the link: www.justlovecoffee.com/ThePenners
There is my sales pitch! In the end, the Lord will continue to provide for our every need during this adoption. He has proven over and over to provide abundantly more than I need. Thank you for your continued prayers and support.
Having this home study complete also means we can apply for grants from organizations like Show Hope and The Abba Fund to assist us in financially providing for this adoption. So, as you see, I will be up to my ears in paperwork. : ) As I have been waiting for this home study I read a book called Adopt Without Debt by Julie Gumm. She gives practical advice to parents that are either looking into adopting and may think they cannot afford it, or parents that are in the process of adopting. I thought we had exhausted all our options to save money, make money, or ways to keep us from going into debt until I read about one website that interested me. There is a coffee roasting company called Just Love Coffee that sells exotic coffees from several parts of the world. They roast the coffee as it is ordered and ship it to the person that orders it. The adopting family gets $5 for each bag that is sold. I just received my first bags of coffee and am pretty excited to try them. I am not a saleswoman. I am not a big fan of asking people to buy something (I leave that to my retired insurance salesman father and current salesman brother). So, I am not going to beg you to buy this coffee. I may post it on Facebook every once in a while.You may get an email from me about it. However, I am just spreading the word to those that like a good cup of coffee in the morning and would like their purchase to have a purpose, helping an orphan get home to her forever family. : ) I set a goal of $5,000 to help with our adoption costs and the medical needs that she may have when she does come home. So, I figure (if my math is correct, which I have been to known to mess up) if I can get 1,000 people to buy just one bag of coffee, I will have reached my goal. So, I am asking if you have friends, family, or co-workers that enjoy coffee, pass this information onto them. Hey, just today I was reminded that Christmas is only 4 months away, maybe you could get some of your Christmas shopping done a little early. : ) Here is the link: www.justlovecoffee.com/ThePenners
There is my sales pitch! In the end, the Lord will continue to provide for our every need during this adoption. He has proven over and over to provide abundantly more than I need. Thank you for your continued prayers and support.
Jul 25, 2011
Sweet Questions
Children are the best at asking those honest questions, especially when you least expect it. One of those questions that I frequently get asked by our 2 year old is "where's Lu Lu?" The first time she asked it was about a month ago. She came down the stairs early in the morning and after I said good morning to her she responded with, "where Lu Lu?" The next question was "where's Lu Lu's mommy?" This is the question that took me off guard. How do I answer this for a 2 year old to understand? As I was pondering this question I showed Isabelle a picture of Lucy. In the background of the picture there is a nanny feeding another child. She pointed to the nanny and said, "here her mommy." As this conversation was going on, I noticed that my oldest child was watching and listening to how I responded to these questions. So I started explaining to my kids that I am Lucy's mommy but for now someone else needs to take care of her until I can get to her. This answer seemed to satisfy their curiosity, at least for now. It seems that almost daily Isabelle asks, "where's Lu Lu?" Now when she has two of something she says, "one is for Lu Lu". It melts my heart to hear her talk about her sister and it amazes me how much she thinks and talks about her. I think she is pretty excited.
Where are we in the process? We had our homestudy visits nearly a month ago. Our case worker said she has one month to type up our homestudy, so we are patiently waiting. I asked if there is anything I can do while I wait to make things move a little quicker and I was advised not to get ahead of the process because of time lines. The items I may go ahead and get may expire and I would end up re-doing certain processes. So we wait. The good news is that once our homestudy is typed up and accepted, we can start applying for grants and adoption financial aid from organizations like Show Hope. I have started reading a new book, The Autobiography of George Mueller. That man's faith and prayer life are inspiring and it most certainly is helping me wait this out. I will have to share some quotes from that book in a later post.
Our family just returned from the 2nd tri-annual Wiebe (Jason's mom's side of the family) family reunion in Missouri. It was a fabulous time with this amazing family. One tradition that this family started was taking a big group picture with each family having a certain color shirt on for the picture. The Penner family had orange shirts and Grandma Penner decided that Lucy needed a 2011Wiebe family reunion shirt. So I have it waiting for her in her room. I thought about sending it to her in the orphanage, but I am afraid I will not see it again. For now it will just wait until she gets home. So thank you Bernice! Also, what makes this family so amazing is the heritage and faith it shares. Jason and I were asked to share about our adoption at a campfire one night. We were both hesitant at first, but did agree to speak. After our little talk and answering a few questions this amazing family surrounded Jason and myself and prayed for and over us and Lucy. It was so........I don't know what word best describes it. It was just awesome! Knowing that this entire family is praying for us and Lucy is so meaningful and beautiful to me. I will treasure those moments by the campfire forever. While we were at this family reunion, I saw a little Asian girl running around with little pony tails in her hair. ADORABLE! I noticed her sitting with some American adults. I thought surely she must have been adopted. I built up enough courage to find her parents and ask about her adoption. I found out that she was from South Korea. We talked for a little while. The mom gave me some advice and things she has learned since bringing home this little girl. It was such an encouraging conversation. As we said our good-byes and our "see you at the next reunion", I realized that at the next reunion, Lucy will be with us and she will get to meet this amazing family in person.
And someday when Isabelle asks me, "where Lu Lu?" I will be able to say, "check outside or maybe she is in your room or perhaps she is playing hide-n-seek with you." : ) We wait for that day!
Where are we in the process? We had our homestudy visits nearly a month ago. Our case worker said she has one month to type up our homestudy, so we are patiently waiting. I asked if there is anything I can do while I wait to make things move a little quicker and I was advised not to get ahead of the process because of time lines. The items I may go ahead and get may expire and I would end up re-doing certain processes. So we wait. The good news is that once our homestudy is typed up and accepted, we can start applying for grants and adoption financial aid from organizations like Show Hope. I have started reading a new book, The Autobiography of George Mueller. That man's faith and prayer life are inspiring and it most certainly is helping me wait this out. I will have to share some quotes from that book in a later post.
Our family just returned from the 2nd tri-annual Wiebe (Jason's mom's side of the family) family reunion in Missouri. It was a fabulous time with this amazing family. One tradition that this family started was taking a big group picture with each family having a certain color shirt on for the picture. The Penner family had orange shirts and Grandma Penner decided that Lucy needed a 2011Wiebe family reunion shirt. So I have it waiting for her in her room. I thought about sending it to her in the orphanage, but I am afraid I will not see it again. For now it will just wait until she gets home. So thank you Bernice! Also, what makes this family so amazing is the heritage and faith it shares. Jason and I were asked to share about our adoption at a campfire one night. We were both hesitant at first, but did agree to speak. After our little talk and answering a few questions this amazing family surrounded Jason and myself and prayed for and over us and Lucy. It was so........I don't know what word best describes it. It was just awesome! Knowing that this entire family is praying for us and Lucy is so meaningful and beautiful to me. I will treasure those moments by the campfire forever. While we were at this family reunion, I saw a little Asian girl running around with little pony tails in her hair. ADORABLE! I noticed her sitting with some American adults. I thought surely she must have been adopted. I built up enough courage to find her parents and ask about her adoption. I found out that she was from South Korea. We talked for a little while. The mom gave me some advice and things she has learned since bringing home this little girl. It was such an encouraging conversation. As we said our good-byes and our "see you at the next reunion", I realized that at the next reunion, Lucy will be with us and she will get to meet this amazing family in person.
And someday when Isabelle asks me, "where Lu Lu?" I will be able to say, "check outside or maybe she is in your room or perhaps she is playing hide-n-seek with you." : ) We wait for that day!
Jun 16, 2011
To My Lucy
Dearest sweet Lucy-
Today is your 1st birthday. Happy Birthday! We celebrated your special day in our home. Your Grandma Penner came over for supper. (Grandpa Penner flew to North Carolina to spend some time with your cousins, Grant and Wesley, and your Uncle Aaron and Aunt Karen.) We sang Happy Birthday to you and your brothers blew out your candle. It was a special day here and I hope and pray that it was a special day for you in China.
Lucy, I have not known you for very long and I have yet to hold you and hug you, but already you have a very special place in my heart. My desire to be with you in person grows each day. I imagine what the day will be like when I do finally get to hold you and learn about your personality. I dream about what the future holds for you. I imagine the day when I find you and your sister giggling in your room and me having to go upstairs and tell you it is time to go to sleep. I look forward to Ian and Aiden showing you around your new home and around all the places to explore on our yard. They are excited to tell their friends about you.
I pray for you daily, if not more. I pray that you are safe, healthy, and growing. I pray that God is preparing me to be the mother I am called to be to you. I pray that you receive Jesus as your Savior and Lord at an early age and that you live in the confidence that only He can give you. A good friend of mine made your sister a memories box after she was born. On one side of the box there is a verse that I just love and pray for you and Isabelle:
Love,
Mommy
Here are some pictures and video from today's party:
O.k. so I was a little rushed to finish your cake and it kind of fell apart! It was a butter cake with a whipped topping/pudding filling and chocolate chip/chocolate frosting. (I'm pretty sure you would have liked it.)
And the cake just kept falling apart as we cut it, but hey, it kind of looks like a cake after a 1 year old is done with it. : )
Ahem! We do wear clothes in our house. We just had lasagna and I didn't want Izzy's WHITE shirt to get sauce on it. Lucy, your sister is already excited to share a room with you.
We all love you and cannot wait to share your next birthday and many birthdays to come with you blowing out your own candles.
Today is your 1st birthday. Happy Birthday! We celebrated your special day in our home. Your Grandma Penner came over for supper. (Grandpa Penner flew to North Carolina to spend some time with your cousins, Grant and Wesley, and your Uncle Aaron and Aunt Karen.) We sang Happy Birthday to you and your brothers blew out your candle. It was a special day here and I hope and pray that it was a special day for you in China.
Lucy, I have not known you for very long and I have yet to hold you and hug you, but already you have a very special place in my heart. My desire to be with you in person grows each day. I imagine what the day will be like when I do finally get to hold you and learn about your personality. I dream about what the future holds for you. I imagine the day when I find you and your sister giggling in your room and me having to go upstairs and tell you it is time to go to sleep. I look forward to Ian and Aiden showing you around your new home and around all the places to explore on our yard. They are excited to tell their friends about you.
I pray for you daily, if not more. I pray that you are safe, healthy, and growing. I pray that God is preparing me to be the mother I am called to be to you. I pray that you receive Jesus as your Savior and Lord at an early age and that you live in the confidence that only He can give you. A good friend of mine made your sister a memories box after she was born. On one side of the box there is a verse that I just love and pray for you and Isabelle:
"She is clothed with strength and dignity, and she laughs without fear of the future." Proverbs 31:25Oh Lucy, you are so precious to me and I love you! Happy 1st birthday dear one!
Love,
Mommy
Here are some pictures and video from today's party:
Ahem! We do wear clothes in our house. We just had lasagna and I didn't want Izzy's WHITE shirt to get sauce on it. Lucy, your sister is already excited to share a room with you.
We all love you and cannot wait to share your next birthday and many birthdays to come with you blowing out your own candles.
Jun 13, 2011
Presenting Lucy Fei......
June 13 - I recieved an email today and I would like to share the first line of the email:
So without further delay, I would like to present to you Lu Fei Hu (Chinese name), Lucy Fei Penner (American name), Lu Lu (nickname : ))
Believe me, one of the first care packages I send will include some hair bows! : )
So, what are our next steps? We are meeting with our home study agency for the first of 2 meetings on Wednesday. We will also be working on all the dossier paperwork. We now have a deadline to get our dossier completed within 6 months. On Aiden's birthday, Decemeber 13th, we need to have our dossier completed in order to meet that deadline. Game On!!! : ) However, first we need to plan a birthday party for Lucy. She turns 1 on Thursday, June 16th. It will be a bittersweet day in our family! I so wish that she could be here to celebrate this great birthday with her family. I hope the caregivers take time to celebrate her birthday in our place.
On another note, last night Jason and I were doing a search on the orphanage where Lucy lives right now. We discovered that almost one year ago, Show Hope (Steven Curtis Chapman's organization), opened a special care unit in the same building as Lucy's temporary home. http://blog.showhope.org/2010/07/09/jiaozuo/ This orphanage is only a 1 1/2 hour drive away from Maria's Big House of Hope (for those that have read Choosing to SEE by Mary Beth Chapman you know what I am talking about). We are going to see if we can visit these places while we are there. We are wondering if Show Hope had anything to do with getting Lucy's cleft lip repaired. Hmmm? Something we will have to ask.
As always, Soli Deo Gloria!
"Hi there and congratulations! Today we received your pre-approval from the CCCWA!"So what does this mean? I cannot word it better than the way it was explained in the email, so I should just quote directly from the email:
"A pre-approval is essentially the CCCWA’s acknowledgement or confirmation that your Letter of Intent has been received, along with the basic family information and photos you provided, and it represents the CCCWA’s agreement to review and process your file through the expedited Waiting Child Program, once your dossier arrives.You are now welcome to send a care package to your child and can share with others at your own discretion."Did you read that last part ?!!!! We can send a care package to our little girl in China! We can share pictures and details with you all! This is a good day! Recently Jason and I were at a wedding talking with a couple whose daughter just brought home their China doll. We discussed the ups and downs of this whole adoption process. I think back to over a week ago; how down and dreary this whole process looked. Now I am receiving the good news that we are another step closer to bringing Lu Lu home. We ended the conversation at the wedding by saying, almost simultaneously, that this whole process is out of our control. We realize there will continue to be ups and downs during this process. We will celebrate the ups, like today, and we will grow and trust fully in the One who is in control during the downs.
So without further delay, I would like to present to you Lu Fei Hu (Chinese name), Lucy Fei Penner (American name), Lu Lu (nickname : ))
So, what are our next steps? We are meeting with our home study agency for the first of 2 meetings on Wednesday. We will also be working on all the dossier paperwork. We now have a deadline to get our dossier completed within 6 months. On Aiden's birthday, Decemeber 13th, we need to have our dossier completed in order to meet that deadline. Game On!!! : ) However, first we need to plan a birthday party for Lucy. She turns 1 on Thursday, June 16th. It will be a bittersweet day in our family! I so wish that she could be here to celebrate this great birthday with her family. I hope the caregivers take time to celebrate her birthday in our place.
On another note, last night Jason and I were doing a search on the orphanage where Lucy lives right now. We discovered that almost one year ago, Show Hope (Steven Curtis Chapman's organization), opened a special care unit in the same building as Lucy's temporary home. http://blog.showhope.org/2010/07/09/jiaozuo/ This orphanage is only a 1 1/2 hour drive away from Maria's Big House of Hope (for those that have read Choosing to SEE by Mary Beth Chapman you know what I am talking about). We are going to see if we can visit these places while we are there. We are wondering if Show Hope had anything to do with getting Lucy's cleft lip repaired. Hmmm? Something we will have to ask.
As always, Soli Deo Gloria!
Jun 5, 2011
Be Careful What You Pray For......
June 5 - The past two months have been a waiting game for Jason and myself. We are not only waiting on our little girl in China to pick up and bring home to be a part of our family, but waiting on calls and emails from a company that Jason has been interviewing with. After months of uncertainty and changes with Jason's software consulting job, we started thinking it was time for Jason to pursue other job options. However, the bad part is that while we are in the middle of the adoption process, we have been advised to not make any MAJOR changes to our lives. A major change being defined as a job change or address change looks bad on our dossier paperwork and will just cause problems and delays. Since we were not far enough in our adoption process, i.e. our homestudy and dossier is not completed yet, we felt we needed to look into this option. We put a halt on our adoption for Jason to pursue a different job. That was a little over 2 months ago. During this 2 months I have had CCAI asking me for paperwork that I could not fill out until we knew where Jason would be working. I have had our homestudy agency emailing me asking where were in the job pursuit so that we could schedule our homestudy meetings. So after almost 4 interviews and 2 months of time a proposal was given to Jason on a job and it was not what we were expecting. It was disappointing. The entire 2 months I just ached in my heart thinking our little girl is waiting for us and we are holding up this process. O.k. God, what are you doing? Why? Are we doing something wrong?
This brought us to a place of pleading and prayer, asking God what we were to do. Should Jason stay with the company he has been working for not knowing when the next paycheck will come, (One of the changes that has taken place with his job is that he gets paid when clients pay so we went nearly 3 months before seeing a check.) or cut a huge chunk of our budget, perhaps sending our kids to a different school, and take this new job, also knowing it is going to take more time from our adoption to get information sent off about this job change. Pleading and prayer, I tell ya! Finally, on Friday I came to my breaking point. I literally wept for our daughter in China. I was ready to tell CCAI that they should find other parents for her because we cannot give them answers and paperwork they need right now. I was weeping nearly the entire night ready to give up the little girl I feel God has called us to bring into our family. Just a side note: I started teaching summer Sunday School and a verse we talked about today was Psalm 30:5b "weeping may remain for a night, but rejoicing comes in the morning." I lived the verse out. That night I wept and wept. What are we to do? How can this be part of Your plan, Lord? Then it came to me, and this thought has come to me before, but it was very clear now. You see it takes a few times for something to occur before I REALLY GET IT! From the beginning of this adoption journey Jason and I had prayed and asked others to pray that we would remain humble throughout this process. Adoption, being such an open and visual process, can become a very prideful and boastful thing to the parents. People come up to us and say, "oh what a wonderful thing you are doing. Good job." We never wanted this to become anything we have done but what Christ is doing through us. We want His name to become famous through this, not ours. I think of the verses in Philippians where Paul talks about putting confidence in Christ and not our own flesh. "But whatever was to my profit I now consider loss for the sake of Christ." Philippians 3:7. I think the Lord was putting us through this entire holding process to keep us humble. There is absolutely no way we are doing this ourselves, but He who works all things to His glory. He is keeping us humble. On Saturday morning Jason and I sat down, prayed, and talked about what we needed to do. We both came to a unified decision that Jason will continue to work for the consulting group he has been working with and we are completely trusting that God will provide what we need. Jason will do this until this adoption is complete and we have our little girl home. In the midst of all this possible job change there were more opportunities that had come up. Keeping this current job gives Jason some flexibility to possibly pursue those opportunities once our little girl is home. After we discussed this decision and went on with our day, I felt peace. I cannot speak for Jason but I think he felt the same. Jason went out to get the mail and came in with a check from his consulting work. HELLO!!!
This brought us to a place of pleading and prayer, asking God what we were to do. Should Jason stay with the company he has been working for not knowing when the next paycheck will come, (One of the changes that has taken place with his job is that he gets paid when clients pay so we went nearly 3 months before seeing a check.) or cut a huge chunk of our budget, perhaps sending our kids to a different school, and take this new job, also knowing it is going to take more time from our adoption to get information sent off about this job change. Pleading and prayer, I tell ya! Finally, on Friday I came to my breaking point. I literally wept for our daughter in China. I was ready to tell CCAI that they should find other parents for her because we cannot give them answers and paperwork they need right now. I was weeping nearly the entire night ready to give up the little girl I feel God has called us to bring into our family. Just a side note: I started teaching summer Sunday School and a verse we talked about today was Psalm 30:5b "weeping may remain for a night, but rejoicing comes in the morning." I lived the verse out. That night I wept and wept. What are we to do? How can this be part of Your plan, Lord? Then it came to me, and this thought has come to me before, but it was very clear now. You see it takes a few times for something to occur before I REALLY GET IT! From the beginning of this adoption journey Jason and I had prayed and asked others to pray that we would remain humble throughout this process. Adoption, being such an open and visual process, can become a very prideful and boastful thing to the parents. People come up to us and say, "oh what a wonderful thing you are doing. Good job." We never wanted this to become anything we have done but what Christ is doing through us. We want His name to become famous through this, not ours. I think of the verses in Philippians where Paul talks about putting confidence in Christ and not our own flesh. "But whatever was to my profit I now consider loss for the sake of Christ." Philippians 3:7. I think the Lord was putting us through this entire holding process to keep us humble. There is absolutely no way we are doing this ourselves, but He who works all things to His glory. He is keeping us humble. On Saturday morning Jason and I sat down, prayed, and talked about what we needed to do. We both came to a unified decision that Jason will continue to work for the consulting group he has been working with and we are completely trusting that God will provide what we need. Jason will do this until this adoption is complete and we have our little girl home. In the midst of all this possible job change there were more opportunities that had come up. Keeping this current job gives Jason some flexibility to possibly pursue those opportunities once our little girl is home. After we discussed this decision and went on with our day, I felt peace. I cannot speak for Jason but I think he felt the same. Jason went out to get the mail and came in with a check from his consulting work. HELLO!!!
So, I sent off an email to our homestudy agency to set up a meeting and get our homestudy done and I was able to send in all the information CCAI needed to lock us in as parents of little Lu Lu (our nickname for our China doll). As I like to say, GAME ON! We will now be busy doing whatever needs to be done to get Lu Lu home. So be careful what you pray for......you may just find yourself in unchartered waters. : ) The second part of Psalm 30: "rejoicing comes in the morning" came as I drove to the Butterfield trail later on Saturday morning. The song "I Lift My Hands" by Chris Tomlin came on the radio. I was by myself and cried tears of joy. Listen to the lyrics and be blessed.
Soli Deo Gloria!
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