Gotcha Day Plus 1

Tuesday, May 22 - Our first night went amazingly well. Lucy slept straight for 9 hours. I think she was just exhausted from the days events. Today during the day has been another story.

As I type this Lucy is finally asleep. Poor, poor girl is really missing her home. It breaks my heart. I sometimes just cry with her because I remember leaving all that I was comfortable with when I moved to Minnesota. I cried the entire 2 1/2 hours home from the airport where Jason and I dropped my sister off after she had helped us with the move. It was a sad trip home. Lucy is going through something similar, only to a much much bigger scale. She likes to be outside our hotel room. When she is in our room she just cries. I think when we take her out and go for walks, she sees faces that are familiar to her and it makes her feel better. I also think she associates leaving the room to getting her hopes up that we are going back to her orphanage. She is grieving the loss of everything comfortable to her. She is grieving the loss of familiar faces and voices and language. She is definately grieving! We will just ride out this storm. It is definately a challenge, but we can do it. I am so thankful to have my anchor with me on this trip. Jason is getting quite a workout lugging this solid baby around. She likes to be held by him and let me tell you, she is no lightweight. I jokingly say, I finally got my chubby baby. : )  We get glimpses of her personality at times when she will play with us and she can be so much fun. It just takes time. We took her out for a walk and ate dinner out. Lucy did pretty good until the end. She was ready to go so she went up to the waitresses (who are all Asian and speak Mandarin) and put her arms out for them to hold her. We had to stop them from picking her up. It just broke my heart. I know it will take time for her to get used to us. This is just a part of this journey I was not expecting.

This song keeps running through my head as I hold my grieving daughter. It reminds me of my Heavenly Father who sent His Son Jesus to take the place of my sin so that I can be a part of  His forever family. There are no orphans....there are no outcasts. Thank you Jesus for rescuing me and for bringing Lucy into our family.

Now I will join my Lucy and go to dream land. Soli Deo Gloria!!